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# This page isn't part of my translation; it's a reproduction of
# another section of the published translation. I used it to compare
# my typesetting with that in the book and try to get the font size
# and spacing as well-matched as possible.

@PP My damp lips are frozen onto a Tibetan prayer plaque. And when I
try to loosen my lips by wetting them with my tongue, that sticks fast
as well.

@PP Every single child from the far north of Sweden has no doubt found
itself in the same plight. A freezing cold winter's day, a railing, a
lamp post, a piece of iron coated in hoar frost. My own memory is
suddenly crystal clear. I'm five years old, and my lips are frozen
onto the keyhole of our front door in Pajala. My first reaction one of
vast astonishment. A keyhole that can be touched without more ado by a
mitten or even a bare finger. But now it's a devilish trap. I try to
yell, but that's not easy when your tongue is stuck fast to the metal. 
I struggle with my arms, trying to tear myself loose by force, but the
pain forces me to give up. The cold makes my tongue numb, my mouth is
filled with the taste of blood. I kick against the door in
desperation, and emit an agonized:

@PP `Aaahhh, aaahhh...'

@PP Then Mum appears. She's carrying a bowl of warm water, she pours
it over the keyhole and my lips thaw out and I'm freed. Bits of skin
are still sticking to the metal, and I resolve never to to that ever
again.

@PP `Aaahhh, aaahhh,' I mumble as the snow starts lashing into me. 
Nobody can hear me. If there are any hikers on their way up, they'll
no doubt turn back now.

@NP

cragged @Break @I{This bit belongs a third of the way down page 229.
Please skip these pages now, read the first third of page 229, read
these two pages, then continue with the book.  -- Pont}

@PP
@PP Greger had another remarkable skill. He could speak Tornedal Finnish. 
Everyone had taken for granted that he, as a Scanian, was an @I
ummikko -- that is to say, unversed in the language of honour and
heroes -- but now there were affirmations from several independent
sources. Old men and women gave assurances that they had had long,
productive conversations in @I{ meän kieli }, our language, with this
burring outsider.

@PP Greger was a chirpy character, and, typically for a southerner,
had an abnormally developed need for human contact. So, after speeding
away for a few silent miles on his racer, he would stop to converse
with the local population. Startled men and ladies in Anttis, Kardis,
Pissiniemi, Saittarova, Kivijärvi or Kolari could suddenly be accosted
for no reason whatsoever. Standing before them was a sweaty Martian,
babbling till the spit flew. The words were unfamiliar, but to be on the
safe side they would reply, in Finnish, that they did not wish to buy
anything.

@PP Then it was discovered that, curiously enough, he was
comprehensible. It was downright incredible. This rattling blabber of
noise which only a drunk could have produced! And when they answered
@I{ joo varmasti}, `Yes indeed', or @I{ niinkö }, `Is that so?', this
stranger understood perfectly.

@PP The mystery was solved by an old customs officer who had, in his
youth, served for a couple of years in Helsingborg. He was thus one
of the few inhabitants of Tornedal who had mastered both Tornedal
Finnish and Skåne Swedish. By chance he passed Conrad Mäki's store in
Juhonpieti just when Greger was standing there jabbering with a few
pensioners. The customs man took up position at the edge of the group,
and listened discreetly but assiduously. Afterwards, he rendered an
account of his observations in an objective and detailed manner for
any interested parties. Out of habit he also made a written statement
which I myself have read, signed by him and two independent witnesses
in accordance with normal procedure.

@PP It was made clear that the speaker G (that is, Greger) had for the
entirety of the conversation spoken Skåne Swedish of a porridgey
nature, excepting a small number of Tornedalish expletives (see
Appendix 1), generally incorrectly pronounced. The speakers A, B, and
C (two old men and an old woman) had, equally clearly, conducted the
whole conversation in Tornedal Finnish. The strange thing was that the
conversation followed an entirely logical course, wherein each side
seemed entirely to understand the other. The topics of conversation
had been, in order:

@NumberedList

@ListItem{ The recent rain and cold. }

@ListItem{ The growth of potatoes during the late summer, the superior
taste of the almond potato when compared with the round potato, and
whether the heavy rain would cause potato rot. }

@ListItem{ The summer's hay harvest, the quantity and quality of
haystacks, and whether the late spring had affected the nutritional
content of the hay. }

@ListItem{ The livestock in the village, the keeping of dairy cows in
the past and present day, the mechanization of farming, and whether
tractors were cheaper on the Swedish or Finnish side of the border. }

@ListItem{ Several recently discovered crooked carrots which resembled
pricks, and whether this was a curiousity of nature or a warning from
our Creator regarding the activities of the younger generation at the
local dances. }

@ListItem{ Hopes for improvements in the weather and valedictory
phrases. }

@EndList

For scientific purposes the customs man had stopped Greger just as he
was pedalling off, and asked him the time -- in Finnish, with a
neutral inflection:

@PP `@I{ Mitäs kello on? }'
@PP `And the same to you,' Greger had replied amicably.

@PP From all this, the customs man drew the following conclusions:

@PP Greger had not mastered Finnish (excepting the mispronounced
oaths, Appendix 1 as stated). The pensioners' grasp of Skåne Swedish
was equally non-existent. The puzzling understanding between them
could instead be ascribed to two causes: Greger's body language, which
was strikingly abundant and clear; and his remarkably complete
understanding of agriculture.

@PP The customs officer's son was a linguist in Umeå and started a
thesis on the subject: @I{ Bilingual understanding in a northern
Scandinavian multicultural environment }, but started drinking and
never finished it.

@PP Greger himself just gave a silly laugh when the subject came up. 
But that's what they're like, these Scanians. Silly.

@End @Text